


Soap Bubbles to Cover Our Sins

by catthepirate



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Dysphoria, Crushes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Panic Attacks, Short One Shot, Trans Character, Trans Hinata Hajime, Trans Male Character, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:20:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27585989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catthepirate/pseuds/catthepirate
Summary: Hajime Hinata is tired of looking at himself in the mirror, and tired of looking down at himself in the shower.Fuyuhiko's there to help with the stress.TWs for dysphoria and panic attacks, and also Hajime wearing his binder for too long. Stay safe babies!
Relationships: Hinata Hajime & Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko, Hinata Hajime/Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko
Comments: 8
Kudos: 96





	Soap Bubbles to Cover Our Sins

**Author's Note:**

> The self harm tag is because Hajime wore his binder for too long, otherwise there is nothing else about self harm in this fanfic. If you see any mistakes as always feel free to comment them and I'll do my best to correct them, Thank you to my friends for beta-reading this! <3 stay safe and enjoy!

Hajime hadn’t taken his binder off all day.  
He knew it was bad, and he knew that it would damage his ribs. But he couldn’t bear looking down. Hajime closed the door, letting the lock click into place and he tugged at his necktie, feeling his throat closing up as he pulled off his clothes. He pulled his binder up, feeling the fabric let loose what he loathed to see. 

He wanted to love himself.

But he couldn’t bear looking in the mirror when he went into the shower.  
He felt the water scald his back as he crossed his arms over his breasts, sliding down onto the floor of the shower. His tears mixed with the water streaming down his face. His breaths disappeared into the steam and he wished he could have gone with it. Smallest comments tore into his heart and made him want to tear up every memory. He wanted to forget but it's attached to him like a leech that sucked on his confidence and sucked on his love. Hajime wanted and wanted and wanted. He felt shaky and felt like the steam choked him. But it’s better than looking down. He heard knocks, but they didn’t register into his mind. 

He heard knocks but he couldn’t get up. He was scared of the mirror. He couldn’t get out of his bubble because he was scared of the reality waiting on his chest and down below his waist. He briefly heard the door slam open, he swore it was locked. He still made no attempts to get up. 

“Hajime? Shit are you in the shower-” 

Hinata heard him but he couldn’t respond  
His tears still trapped in his throat he couldn’t help but let out a sob, 

“... Are you crying? You okay if I come in?” 

He couldn’t respond He couldn’t respond He couldn’t respond  
The voice that’ll come out isn’t his  
His his his his his his his his

“... Fuck, I’m sorry I promise I won’t look”

Hajime wanted to bark out a no but Fuyuhiko came in with a arm over his eyes, 

“See? I can’t see anything... You alright? Why are you crying?” 

“P...Panic...-” 

Fuyuhiko nodded, “I’ll uh...I’ll get some clothes for you...Just wait here” He fled the bathroom, Hajime distantly heard him rummage through his room and waited in the now cold shower. The cold water grounded him a bit. 

“My...Uhm...My binder is under my b-boxers in the top drawer!” Hajime felt his face burn up, “C-Could you grab that for me?...”

“U-Uh yeah! I’ll get uh-shit-I’ll get it” 

Hajime got out of the shower and turned the handle off, he wrapped a towel around himself and sat on the floor, waiting for Fuyuhiko. 

He felt tears well up in his eyes again when he looked at the mirror across from him. 

“Hey, dumbass, don’t space out again” Fuyuhiko threw clothes onto his lap, “Uhm...get changed then we can-talk, I guess? Fuck I don’t know” Fuyuhiko ran a hand through his hair, his face burning red. Hajime nodded, smiling. Fuyuhiko turned around and sat down on the bed, waiting for Hajime. 

Hajime pulled his shirt over his head, deciding that he should just leave his binder for the time being, he wore it far too long today anyhow. He pulled his boxers on and pants, the feeling of the jeans scratching across his thighs helped him focus on that rather than wrong everything now felt. 

Hajime padded across the floor, the wood under him feeling too cold for his feet and a bit dusty, he noted. Hajime sat down next to Fuyuhiko, the bed letting out a creak in protest. Hajime crossed his arms across his chest, feeling that ugly despair crawl up his throat again. Fuyuhiko put a hand on his thigh, 

“You okay?” 

Hajime let out a snort, “not really? I….I was crying in the shower, dude”  
fuyuhiko squeezed his thigh,  
“fuck off! I’m not good at helping with shit like this” he looked at the smaller man’s burning face, he can still clearly see the concern etched into his eye. Hajime tried to swallow the lump in his throat, 

“ss….sorry man I just…” he looked back down at his lap, crossing his arms tighter around his chest, “I feel like shit...when...when I speak my voice isn’t as deep as I want it to-to be and...and” he felt a sob try to crawl out of his throat, “I want to feel like myself?...but...but I’m not...this isn’t me and I just...I want to be okay, that a..and the whole killing game is so fucking stressful” he moves his hand, running it through his spiky hair that he fucked up cutting by himself, “I just want to love myself...to be okay with myself but...but I’m never...okay” he choked out the last part, feeling dizzy from holding back his tears. 

He felt soft fingers wrap around the hand tugging at his hair. He looked to Fuyuhiko, who let him rant this entire time, he squeezed his hand and brought Hajime’s hand to his lap. “You’re…Hajime Hinata”  
Hajime let out another snort, in spite of his tears,  
“Fuck off, just say it with me, say your name”  
“I’m...hajime Hinata?”  
“Again”  
“I’m hajime Hinata”  
“Again”  
“I’m hajime Hinata!” He said it with more confidence  
“You’re hajime Hinata, always, you can look in the mirror and think ‘that’s wrong’ but you’re always going to be a man on the inside. It doesn’t matter what you see in the mirror, it’s Mulan shit, bullshit and not you...uh...you’re like…” Fuyuhiko hesitated, bringing his hand up and holding hajimes cheek in his hand, “I see you as a man, okay? And everyone else here does too, otherwise I’d beat the shit out of them. But uh….” Fuyuhiko removed his hand, hajime almost told him to put it back.  
.  
Hajime observed Fuyuhiko’s flushed face, he looked away from the taller man, “When we get out of here…” he started.  
Hajime let out a tiny disbelieving laugh, “ _If _we get out of here” he mumbled, this caused Fuyuhiko’s piercing gaze to snap back at Hajime, he almost flinched. Fuyuhiko grabbed his hand and squeezed, Hajime couldn’t help but squeeze back.__

__“ _When _we get out of here, I’ll buy you any shit you want, get it? Surgeries and such will be covered by me, for as long as you stay by my side, you’ll get whatever you want” His eyes held such a serious look that Hajime felt as if he couldn’t help but believe in the promise.___ _

____Hajime let out a shuddering breath, he felt shaky as if he couldn’t believe his own words, “P...promise?” He felt too fragile, as if a slight breeze could break him._ _ _ _

____“Yeah, I got your back man, as long as you have mine, we’re brothers in this shit” Fuyuhiko grinned back at him, squeezing his hand harder.  
There was the breeze._ _ _ _

____Hajime launched to the smaller man, clinging to his shoulder and letting out the sobs he held stuck in his throat. He was aware he was getting tears and snot on a yakuza leader, but at this moment he just couldn’t care less. Hajime felt warmth bloom in his heart under the heavy ache that normally settled there. He wished he could spend his life feeling safe in Fuyuhiko’s arms._ _ _ _

____He had no idea how long he spent in Fuyuhiko’s arms, at that point time didn’t seem important to him. He just wanted to stay in the safety and comfort for as long as he could. But eventually he tore himself away from the other man. He gave a slightly embarrassed smile,_ _ _ _

____“Thanks...Sorry for...Crying on you”_ _ _ _

____Fuyuhiko just waved his hand and grinned at him,  
“Look, you can use me as a tissue this time, next time you’ll have to pay though” He joked, putting his hand onto Hajime’s shoulder. _ _ _ _

____Hajime appreciated the support, he sighed, rubbing his eyes, he felt a headache coming back on from how much he cried, “God...Would it be rude if I took a nap?” He looked to Fuyuhiko, who just squeezed his shoulder in response._ _ _ _

____“I’ll tell the others to not bother you unless they want to get beat, got it? If you uh…” Fuyuhiko retracted his hand, he suddenly seemed bashful. He scratched the back of his neck, “Er...If you need me, you’re always welcome into my cabin, don’t make a big deal out of it, okay? Just...Fuck off stop smiling like that!” Hajime almost laughed at him, but decided against it._ _ _ _

____“Thank you, I seriously appreciate it…” Hajime felt his heart flutter, he hated how easily he could fall for people, even if it’s a small crush. But as he watched the other man flush again, and slowly make his way out of his cabin he felt the feeling linger. He wondered if it’ll just stay as a small crush or grow into something stronger._ _ _ _

____Hajime sighed, falling back into his bed and closing his eyes, he didn’t have the time to think about that. He just wanted to nap the day away while thinking about how Fuyuhiko’s cheeks looked kissable._ _ _ _


End file.
